Monday, August 20, 2012

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Saying "See you later"

Last week I went back to New York to visit my family. We went and spent the weekend in upstate New York, in the Adirondacks, in a town called Port Henry. It is really fun to go here because we stay in the house that my great grandparents purchased when they came from Poland to the United States. It has been in our family for close to 100 years. While we have done some significant renovations to it over the years it still has to charm of an old house. It was one of the most complete family gatherings we've had in years. It was me, my mom, my grandma, my sister and her boyfriend, my Uncle Monk, my cousin Hannah and her husband Dave and children Hudson and Elis, my cousin Irene and her husband Nate, and my Aunt Mo and Uncle Dwight. My grandma is battling cancer (successfully!) and so it was wonderful to see her with my own eyes and be able to talk with her face to face. Another reason I made this unplanned visit was because Hannah and her family are moving to Nepal for 2.5 years.

 The whole gang

 Grandma, Granddaughters, and Great Granddaughters
4 generations of Vickner women

I have to say selfishly it is really hard to understand when people make decisions like this. At times I felt like they were ripping themselves and their children away from us and I just couldn't understand why this seemed like something that was a good choice for them. Although I have to admit I was excited when the location was changed to Nepal from Kenya. I think they could sense this feeling from some of the family and so while we were in Port Henry they gave us a "presentation" of why they were making this decision. While some of their reasons I heard, but still don't quite understand there was one thing they said that really got me. At one point Dave said we want to do this now because a lot of people say they want to help others and go into the world to provide better health care but not a lot of people actually do it. We don't want to be those people that talk about helping others, but never do.
I guess I really understood this because I have been trying to do things and be proactive about what I want to do with my life instead of just sitting on my butt waiting for things to happen to me. Although I am sad to see them go, and there were very tearful hugs I am excited for them to gain the experiences that this trip will give them. Bottom line is I love them very very much, and I just want to support them 100% if this is what they want. I will pray for their safety everyday.

 Hudson and Elis as Ben and Jerry
Hudson and I as Ben and Jerry
Cousins Peace, Love and Ice Cream (with Hudson doing crazy cow :-p)

Saturday, August 18, 2012

The Bucket List

It's been a whirlwind of activity since I returned from Italy. In the month I've been back I've had a fabulous birthday party, gone to Indianapolis and Austin for robotics competitions, moved into a new apartment, had my best freiend from NY come to visit, and gone back to NY to spend a weekend in the mountains with family. The last few days are the first time I've sat down and had a moment to breath since I got back.
It's been a rainy few days in Texas and I've run out of motivation to do the small final touches to my apartment. So last night I turned on the TV and the movie "The Bucket List" was on. I saw this movie when it first came out in 2007 but haven't seen it since. I have to say watching it now after watching 2 of my closest family members battle cancer (and 4 other more distant family members) it is a totally different experience. There were a few times I had to turn it off, but after a few minutes I would pull it together and turn it back on again. It put me right back into the moments again of being in the hospital, watching my dad be so sick, and sitting next to him in bed in the days before his death. Some of the scenes of Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman struggling during treatment in the middle of the night were too haunting for me to even watch.
But being in Italy and watching this movie again made me think about all the things I want to do before I die. At this point my family history includes pretty much the whole list of things they ask you about and it's a little scary. I remembered in college I started a list so I went on my computer to see if I could find it again, and lo and behold there it was. Here is what it said:

  1. Meet Dar Williams
  2.  Learn how to play a Dar Williams song on the guitar
  3.  Graduate from Clarkson
  4.  Beat my Depression
  5.  Learn how to do a cartwheel
  6. Go parachuting
  7.  Learn how to surf
  8. Snorkel the great barrier reef
  9. Make girls more interested in technology
  10. Grow up to be as amazing as my mom, Karen Hands, and Mrs. Funk
  11. Learn how to function when I am single

    So far I can check off 1, 3, 5, and 9ish (I still have a lot more to go).
    10 is pretty much an on going thing :) and 11, well 11 haunted me a little when I read it.
    4 was also really interesting to me. While I certainly will never get rid of it, I have learned a lot of
    coping skills so that on a daily basis it is not crippling like it was in the past.
    So I fel like now I really need 2 bucket lists. One traveling list, and one "other" list. So here is goes:
    Travel List:

  1. Greece
  2. Paris
  3. London
  4. Dublin
  5. Australia
  6. Germany
  7. Switzerland
  8. Monaco
  9. Prague
  10. Poland
  11. Peru
  12. Brazil
  13. Alaska
  14. Seattle
  15. Phoenix
  16. LA
  17. Napa Valley
  18. Hawaii
  19. Hilton Head, SC
  20. Memphis
  21. Nashville
  22. Mount Rushmore (on the 4th of July)

Other List:

  1. Be the best friend and family member I can be
  2. Continue to learn and grow as a teacher
  3. Win a robotics world championship :-p
  4. Have a family of my own
  5. Be in a relationship where there is mutual love and respect
  6. Run a half 5K/10K/marathon
  7. Do a 3-Day Breast Cancer walk
  8. Lean another language (Italian maybe?)
  9. Go to Austin City Limits
  10. Swim with the dolphins
  11. Swim with the manatees (doing this in September)
  12. Take a hot air balloon ride
  13. Stomp grapes for wine
  14. Get my Masters (so close)
  15. Own a house
  16. Have a hot tub