Saying "See you later"

Last week I went back to New York to visit my family. We went and spent the weekend in upstate New York, in the Adirondacks, in a town called Port Henry. It is really fun to go here because we stay in the house that my great grandparents purchased when they came from Poland to the United States. It has been in our family for close to 100 years. While we have done some significant renovations to it over the years it still has to charm of an old house. It was one of the most complete family gatherings we've had in years. It was me, my mom, my grandma, my sister and her boyfriend, my Uncle Monk, my cousin Hannah and her husband Dave and children Hudson and Elis, my cousin Irene and her husband Nate, and my Aunt Mo and Uncle Dwight. My grandma is battling cancer (successfully!) and so it was wonderful to see her with my own eyes and be able to talk with her face to face. Another reason I made this unplanned visit was because Hannah and her family are moving to Nepal for 2.5 years.

 The whole gang

 Grandma, Granddaughters, and Great Granddaughters

4 generations of Vickner women

I have to say selfishly it is really hard to understand when people make decisions like this. At times I felt like they were ripping themselves and their children away from us and I just couldn't understand why this seemed like something that was a good choice for them. Although I have to admit I was excited when the location was changed to Nepal from Kenya. I think they could sense this feeling from some of the family and so while we were in Port Henry they gave us a "presentation" of why they were making this decision. While some of their reasons I heard, but still don't quite understand there was one thing they said that really got me. At one point Dave said we want to do this now because a lot of people say they want to help others and go into the world to provide better health care but not a lot of people actually do it. We don't want to be those people that talk about helping others, but never do.
I guess I really understood this because I have been trying to do things and be proactive about what I want to do with my life instead of just sitting on my butt waiting for things to happen to me. Although I am sad to see them go, and there were very tearful hugs I am excited for them to gain the experiences that this trip will give them. Bottom line is I love them very very much, and I just want to support them 100% if this is what they want. I will pray for their safety everyday.

 Hudson and Elis as Ben and Jerry

Hudson and I as Ben and Jerry

Cousins Peace, Love and Ice Cream (with Hudson doing crazy cow :-p)

The Bucket List

It's been a whirlwind of activity since I returned from Italy. In the month I've been back I've had a fabulous birthday party, gone to Indianapolis and Austin for robotics competitions, moved into a new apartment, had my best freiend from NY come to visit, and gone back to NY to spend a weekend in the mountains with family. The last few days are the first time I've sat down and had a moment to breath since I got back.
It's been a rainy few days in Texas and I've run out of motivation to do the small final touches to my apartment. So last night I turned on the TV and the movie "The Bucket List" was on. I saw this movie when it first came out in 2007 but haven't seen it since. I have to say watching it now after watching 2 of my closest family members battle cancer (and 4 other more distant family members) it is a totally different experience. There were a few times I had to turn it off, but after a few minutes I would pull it together and turn it back on again. It put me right back into the moments again of being in the hospital, watching my dad be so sick, and sitting next to him in bed in the days before his death. Some of the scenes of Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman struggling during treatment in the middle of the night were too haunting for me to even watch.
But being in Italy and watching this movie again made me think about all the things I want to do before I die. At this point my family history includes pretty much the whole list of things they ask you about and it's a little scary. I remembered in college I started a list so I went on my computer to see if I could find it again, and lo and behold there it was. Here is what it said:

1. Meet Dar Williams
2.  Learn how to play a Dar Williams song on the guitar
3.  Graduate from Clarkson
4.  Beat my Depression
5.  Learn how to do a cartwheel
6. Go parachuting
7.  Learn how to surf
8. Snorkel the great barrier reef
9. Make girls more interested in technology
10. Grow up to be as amazing as my mom, Karen Hands, and Mrs. Funk
11. Learn how to function when I am single
    
    
    
    So far I can check off 1, 3, 5, and 9ish (I still have a lot more to go).

    10 is pretty much an on going thing :) and 11, well 11 haunted me a little when I read it.

    4 was also really interesting to me. While I certainly will never get rid of it, I have learned a lot of

    coping skills so that on a daily basis it is not crippling like it was in the past.

    So I fel like now I really need 2 bucket lists. One traveling list, and one "other" list. So here is goes:

    Travel List:

1. Greece
2. Paris
3. London
4. Dublin
5. Australia
6. Germany
7. Switzerland
8. Monaco
9. Prague
10. Poland
11. Peru
12. Brazil
13. Alaska
14. Seattle
15. Phoenix
16. LA
17. Napa Valley
18. Hawaii
19. Hilton Head, SC
20. Memphis
21. Nashville
22. Mount Rushmore (on the 4th of July)

Other List:

1. Be the best friend and family member I can be
2. Continue to learn and grow as a teacher
3. Win a robotics world championship :-p
4. Have a family of my own
5. Be in a relationship where there is mutual love and respect
6. Run a half 5K/10K/marathon
7. Do a 3-Day Breast Cancer walk
8. Lean another language (Italian maybe?)
9. Go to Austin City Limits
10. Swim with the dolphins
11. Swim with the manatees (doing this in September)
12. Take a hot air balloon ride
13. Stomp grapes for wine
14. Get my Masters (so close)
15. Own a house
16. Have a hot tub

I'm busy getting stronger

The end of Italy, the beginning of the next adventure

I am definitely a few good stories behind on my blog, but in my last few days in Italy I have been taking time to relax and reflect on my time here and what my plans are when I get back to the states. There are a few pressing issues that will need my attention quickly and I am trying to figure out exactly how to handle them. But before my last day in Italy I wanted to make a list of things I will miss about Italy and things that I can not wait to get back to in the US of A.

Things I will miss about Italy

1) Everything

Ok, ok, while that is true I should probably go into more detail.

2) The clear refreshing water of the Adriatic. Going to the beach almost every afternoon not only was refreshing after a morning in the sun at camp, but also was a great bonding time for us.

3) Big lunch, small dinner. I might try and take this back with me, I felt so much better after eating a big healthy at lunch and then just kind of snacking at dinner time. Also I want to take back some of the food philosophies I've learned here. My intense heartburn has really subsided since being here and I have lost weight and felt great. A lot of this I think has to do with some of the many things Italians know about digestion and PH levels of the body. Drinking coffee after a meal may be fashionable in the US but here they do it because it speeds digestion and ups your metabolism. There are bunch more of these tips that I will be trying to integrate into my life.

4) History. Being able to turn the corner and constantly see buildings that are thousands of years old and hear all the stories about them will never get old. I need to seek out more culture in the US.

5) The relaxed atmosphere. Everything in the US is go go go. And I, admittedly, am like that too. But in Italy they will look at you like you are crazy if you ask for coffee to go, and they don't even have "to go" cups. While sometimes I found this frustrating, I learned to appreciate it the more time I spent here. The fact that nothing needs to be rushed and you can just move at your own pace and no one cares is freeing.

6) On that note I will miss the coffee!! It is so much better over here, I don't know how they do it.

7) Simplicity. I am going to try and be more simple when I get home. In Italy I didn't have a clothes dryer, a dish washer, an oven, a stove, a coffee maker, a fridge that I could fit more then 3 things in, paper towels, a shower I could bend over in, or even a car. And guess what? The world didn't end. And in fact I didn't even miss anything that much. Now granted I can't survive without a car in Texas. I live 20 miles away from work and it's 100+ half the year. But I want to at least take back the essence of being a simpler person and wasting less.

8) Cheap, delicious wine. I'm telling you, wine is just better here.

Things I miss about the US

1) ICE there is not ice in anything over here and it is HOT. I just want some ice in my water some days.

2) (Pretend you didn't read #5 on the list above) Coffee to go! :-p

3) My friends

4) Tacos

5) Eggs for breakfast

6) Being able to read signs and being able to speak to people. I have found that through the little Spanish I know and the little Italian I learned here I could understand most of what people were trying to say to me, I just couldn't say anything back. It was so frustrating. But I realize it was completely my fault that I didn't learn more Italian before coming here.

7) Mani/Pedi's (I know they have them here, just not in the small town that I was living in)

8) Air conditioning

9) Stores being open all day, not just from 10am-1pm and 5pm-10pm.

10) Having a phone...that I can actually use



All in all this has been a great experience. I am so glad that I found the opportunity and have a flexible enough job/life/schedule that allowed me to take the opportunity. I felt good to be able to make this decision on my own, not having to run it by anyone, and just have the unconditional support of the people around me. It was nice to take a break from my life for a while and surround myself with new people, a new culture, and new experiences. I was so broken when I came here, more then I even realized until I started to be myself again. But what frustrated me most about the situation is that I allowed myself to get that way. I allowed myself to crawl into that hole and feel sorry for myself and not try to change it for so long. I regret a lot of the things that happened in the months leading up to coming here, but part of me feels like I needed to go through all that to realize what I don't want to do to myself in the future. Everything happens for a reason, right?

I am sad to be leaving, but excited to go home. I can't wait to see my friends and family (and welcome Katy back to the US as well). I can't wait to celebrate my birthday (and Sophie's and Jen's), do crafts, take trips with my robotics kids, hang at the saucer, go to trivia, explore Dallas more, take some cooking classes, move to my new place, cuddle with my kitties, start a new school year, and take my change in atitude with me through it all. I will never let myself be ruled by hate and anger again. It's not my style and it didn't suit me one bit. I hope when I get back I can allow myself to forgive and that others can allow themselves to forgive me. I'm not perfect for sure, but all I can be is me. And I think I found myself again.

Yet another reason why I need a reality show...

It was my first 4th of July not in America. It is my favorite holiday and I was actually a little depressed that I was missing the cook outs, fireworks, and everything. But we decided that if we couldn't be in America we should at least go out and celebrate anyway. It also happened to be my last night in Porto since I was leaving a day early to take my sister to Rome for her flight. We decided to get dressed up and go to our favorite restaurant on the beach for dinner and then see where the night would take us. Little did we know just how exciting it would be.

Meredith and I in my apartment

Allison, Me, Anita, Claire, and Lucy

Porto at sunset

We have a wonderful dinner with lots of Prosecco, and our newly discovered favorite condiment Crema di Balsamico. We decided to get some gelato and head down to one of our favorite bars, Sunrise. They make an amazing fresh mojito that we all love. They had a DJ that night, so it was fairly crowded. We got seats at a table outside, but on the porch away from the action a litte. After about 5 minutes one of the owners comes up to us and is trying to tell us something. We didn't really understand  what, but finally managed to get that he wanted us to move table. We were confused but just followed him and he lead us to the "VIP" section right in front of the DJ booth on the beach. We were still confused as to what was going on when the DJ told us the next song was for us. And he played this:

 And while it was playing they brought us a free bottle of Prosecco and sparklers!! At this point we finally realized we had accidentally walked into a Forth of July party and they had just made us the guests of honor!! While the song was playing we decided we needed to start a dance floor, so we got out there and soon everyone joined us. A guy came up and started dancing with me and I found out that it was his birthday! He was fairly intoxicated and pretty soon was lifting me up and spinning me around. Then all of a sudden he started to unbutton his pants, which is when I ran. But later figured out he was trying to show me his swim suit. I realized this after he went and jumped into the ocean and came back to give me a soaking wet hug. Pretty soon the DJ was clearing of some benches so we could dance on top of them and we were having the best time! About 1:30am we deiced it was time to get to bed but before we left the owner explained to us that everything we had tonight was free as an homage to America. You seriously couldn't make these things up if you tried. 

  An Italian Girl with an American Flag shirt!

Dancing on the benches 

SPARKLERS!

Italy, Porto, and our camp have given me more then I ever thought possible. They have taught me about myself and about new cultures and people. I have become stronger here. Emotionally and physically. I believe that the people that were on this journey with me were here for a reason. We all helped each other. But for me especially Claire, Anita, and Lucy were the people I needed to help me get the most out of this journey. Without them I know I would not have grown as much. Each of them in their own special way helped me realized things about myself.

Claire was a saving grace. We seemed to go through similar emotions at similar times and really helped each other through. We traveled together every weekend and made the most of our time here. Even though we are in different places in our lives we were able to relate with each other and keep each other sane. She is a friend for life.

Lucy reminded me that good things come to people who are chill :-) We had a few drunken walks home where we discussed how men are optional, and some late night balcony talks that reminded me of who I am and more importantly that I should never be ashamed of it. She also reminded me that life is a constant battle of managing your expectations, and that if you can master this then many situations will not be as bad. She will "Always Be My Baby" :-p

Anita and I have the same spirit. We are fun, bubbly, and most importantly are 100% percent true to our selves at all times. No matter what people around us think. We are loud and have a "zest for life" I guess you could say. My last night she told me, "You tell me what you want to do tonight, because whatever my baby wants, my baby gets!" She holds such a special place in my heart.

There is no way I could stay away from these girls. A trip to Phoenix in October is in the works :-D

Pompeii

Friday after camp my mom and sister arrived in Porto in their rental car to pick up me and Claire and head to Pompeii for the weekend. It was so nice to be in a car, and not have to drag luggage anywhere and not have to change modes of transportation 3 times to get somewhere. We had a nice drive down and got to our B&B about 7:40. The places was amazing and had a chef on staff so we decided to stay for dinner. We were bombarded with appetizers, antipasti, spaghetti, tortellini pesto, and of course regional vino rosso. The dinner was amazing and afterwards we had a chance to cool off in this pool. There were only about 10 other people at the B&B so we chatted with other people and just had a relaxing night.

We woke up in the morning at 8am and had a fabulous breakfast and headed to Mt. Vesuvius, because you have to hike up the last part to get the carter and we wanted to do that before it got to the hottest part of the day. It took us about an hour to get to the top and it was a pretty difficult climb. The views were amazing and we even saw some smoke and hear some of the weird volcano noises. 

This wonderful lady had a booth on the trail and she sold handmade jewelry made out of the volcanic ashes and rocks and we ended up buying a few things from here because it was really beautiful. The walk down was even harder then the walk up because the trail is sooooo slippery is was really hard to keep your footing. But overall it was one of the best things I’ve done in Italy so far.  

After we got down the mountain we headed to the ruins a Herculaneum, because we heard that although they are smaller then Pompeii they are much better preserved and so we wanted to check it out. Although it was much smaller you got a much better perspective on how life was actually like and there were many more complete buildings left, although a lot of the detailed pieces have been taken from the ruins and put in museums.  

We were able to see all the major places without a guide in about an hours and then we were on the road again to head back to Pompeii. We realized at the first ruins that without a guide everything kind of looked the same and you didn’t get much out of it so once we got to Pompeii we decided to hire an official guide to take us around. His names was Bruno and we was an archeologist who was working on the outskirts of Pompeii specifically in the areas where they would plant and gather grapes to make wine. He took us around the ruins for 2 hours and was an amazing guide. We gave us so many more details they we would have never known. We was worth the money 100 times over. The ruins there were unbelievable. They were HUGE and unlike Herculaneum they left some things in the houses and buildings which was cool to see. We got to see the famous bodies that were preserved once they were covered in ash and it was completely unreal. 

We were all exhausted by the end of the tour and headed back to the B&B. We got in the pool for about an hour and then sat down for dinner. We had fish that was in the ocean that morning and on our plate that evening. It was delicious. We had a few bottles of wine and talked with the B&B owners till the early morning. 

We were going to venture into Naples before going back to Porto, but the owners suggested we go to Sorentto instead. It is supposedly when the Sirens are from. We had an interesting train ride down there, it was completely packed. But we arrived and decided to take a little train tour through the town. It was a great tour and just want we needed. Everything was beautiful, but we had to get going to make it back to Porto before the Euro2012 finals. The drive home was through all the mountains in the middle of Italy. We got caught in a hail storm of all things on the way back, but the car didn't get damaged so it  turned out OK. 

I am headed out tonight for the 4th of July and to celebrate my last night in Porto with the girls!! Many more pictures and blog entries to come! Ciao.

Caves and Soccer...I mean Football

It’s been hard to write the past couple days because I’ve been super busy. And having tons of fun and taking  in new experiences. At the beginning of the week the organizers of the camp told us they wanted to organize a trip to the some famous caves in Italy because it was only about an hour away. I of course said I wanted to go and we ended up going Thursday after camp. We took a big van there and got a tour guide. They were massive. The cave is a couple million years old, but was only discovered in 1974. The first room has a stalagmite (the ones on the floor) in it that was 135,000 years old and was about 25 meters high!! In another room we saw a stalactite (the ones on the ceiling) that was 7 meters long and was about 6 tons. We spent about an hour there and it was amazing, and also only about 50 degrees and was the first time anyone in our group had been cool in 2 and a half weeks.

That night we got back and Italia was playing Germany in the Euro2012 semi-finals. We went to find somewhere to watch it and found that in the town center they  drove in a huge TV screen on the back of a truck and had chairs so everyone in the town could watch together. The streets were all closed and lined with tents of people selling shoes. I figured it was because the woman needed something to do while the men were all watching the game. We ended up finding a table at a café where we could see the screen and ordered this delicious wheat tripel beer. I have to figure out if I can get it in the states because it was awesome. Obviously Italia won and the crowd went crazy. Fireworks, air horns, people running around with flags, and the bar tender even gave our table free orange vodka shots. While walking back to the apartment everyone was waving flags out of their cars and beeping at everyone on the streets. It was so much fun! I have at least 3 entry's that I am in the process of writing I have just been so busy trying to finish up camp, pack, and have fun with my family while they are here. I will be leaving a day earlier then planned (Thursday afternoon) so I can drive back to Rome with my mom and sister so that Meredith can get on her flight early Friday morning.